The security personnel walked straight upto us and the following conversation occurred:
Security personnel looking more imposing than Mathew Haden: Sir, Photography is prohibited here.
Me looking like Sourav Ganguly batting against Bret Lee: Umm…err…i…Sorry….i….sorry…
He simply turned around and walked away paying no heed to my monosyllable apology. I heaved a big sigh of relief and made a mental note to throw away the New York DVD as soon as I reach home – such movies do affect your thinking. We quietly proceeded to Gate no 10 and parked ourselves in the waiting area. The view from here was even more spectacular; but the wife’s stern countenance more than clearly conveyed – Don’t even think about the camera. We still had an hour to kill and being in an affair for more than 7 years meant unlike other honeymoon couples I had no propensity to hold hands and giggle ever so often. Here is a snapshot of our conversation in the waiting area:
Me: ‘You know, there are only two companies that make commercial passenger airliners’. Pause …waiting for her to ask which are those companies?
Wife: hmm…
Me still not discouraged: ‘Boeing which is based in US and Airbus a subsidiary of EADS based in Europe’. Pause…’There used to be a third company called Mcdowell Douglas but Boeing acquired it way back’.
Wife feigning interest: ‘Oh I see’
Me fooled by the fake interest: “Yaa, you know what was queer about Mcdowell Douglas? Their planes had engines mounted on the tail fin.”
Wife: ‘Oh they have samosas at these stalls!’ Gets up abruptly and walks towards the food stall.
Any other guy in this situation would be overwhelmed with embarrassment. But not me; I have a 7 years experience; an eternal optimist. I am sure the wife will one day actually take interest in my ramblings. Till then I will pursue my writing hobby.
So unfazed by the humiliation, I followed the wife to the food stalls and ordered a plate of samosas. I think the ‘samosa makers association of India’ would be well within its rights to sue the airport food stalls for defaming such a deliciously mouth watering snack. We managed to gulp them down with great difficulty. If you are thinking why didn’t we just throw it away; let me give you a little insight on your personality.
You have never seen the price-card at an airport food stall
or
You are the descendant of the Shiekh AL Aaamir AL Fitly Rich AL Oil wells AL Feraris AL Palaces AL Camels AL Haram
Now back to my ramblings. The wife had started to get worried, it was 1520 hours and still there was no announcement asking us to board. Another ten minutes passed yet nothing. Other passengers were also looking perturbed. Finally at 1540, the loud speakers blared with some unintelligible squeaky noise. It took us a minute to realize that they had hired the chipmunks from the ‘Alvin & the Chipmunks’ series as announcers.
I was up to the challenge; I knew I could decipher the announcement if I concentrate hard. I closed my eyes and waited for the chipmunks to take the mike. Though I listened with great assiduity, I could only decode three words – flight 163, delayed, half an hour. That was all I needed, I had done a good job, no one else could figure out anything. Like a messiah I announced to the nescient crowd the fate of flight 163 – it was delayed by half-an hour. This message had a terrible effect on the wife, though on the surface she maintained a calm demeanor, beneath she feared that her jinx had got stronger; it will not allow her to break free; she would not cross the accursed borders of the state.
I had quickly assessed the gravity of the situation; I knew I had to do something. …
‘Honey can you please pass the economic times’
Till this date I have not figured out why the wife reacted the way she did then. She did pass the ET though but I thought she said something that sounded very similar to ‘tucking mustard’ in an undertone.
Half an hour later, I suddenly became aware of a thousand pleading faces gazing at me; the chipmunks had taken the mike again. I listened intently and much to the angst of the fellow passengers translated the bedamn announcement. Flight 163 delayed another half an hour due to technical reasons. Air India was trying very hard to keep up its reputation – one hour delay that too on a domestic flight…only Air India can do that. The wife had tensed up again; I knew I had to do something, the economic times was rather boring; should I ask her to pass the Mumbai mirror. For some reason she had reacted very strangely to the economic times request – I decided to play safe.
Me: “These PSUs I tell you, I shouldn’t have booked Air-India”
Wife: “I told you, but you never listen”
Me: “Oh come on, look at the positive side of it. We have such a beautiful view of the airfield. Half an hour would past just like that watching the planes taking off one after another with the bright logos of Kingfishers and Jet Airways.”
Wife in an undertone: You are such a “sick mustard”
I don’t know what she meant by that, may be I didn’t hear her correctly or may be she calls me mustard lovingly. Women, I tell you!!!its so difficult to understand them…
To be continued...
No comments:
Post a Comment