Work Life Balance or Four habits of highly effective husbands

Wrote this piece on balancing work and family life for the company magazine 'ebuzz'; was received favorably, actually i am being modest, it was widely appreciated by all the three employees who read it....

I thought might as well share it with a larger audience, I mean the four people who read my blog of which one is my wife, one is my best friend, and the two read it because I regularly leave highly appreciative comments on their blogs...

Here it goes...

Imagine getting up everyday before sunrise; while your spouse is blissfully snoring, you have prepared the dough for the chapattis, chopped vegetables and readied other ingredients for lunch. You run to open the valve on hearing a shrill whistle followed by muffled gurgling sounds from the concealed plumbing. You come back to the kitchen, make tea, toast bread, cook lunch, pack it into lunch boxes for you and your spouse while your spouse merrily pulls the bed sheet over the eyes to avoid the early morning rays that infiltrate the bedroom through tiny gaps in the curtain.

If this scene looks familiar or is an every morning phenomena in your house, beware you won't be celebrating many wedding anniversaries in your life.

With both husband and wife working it is imperative that both contribute equally to the household work as well. I really want to strongly convey to all married-men that such things are intolerable, please show some courage, wake up your wife ask her to help you in the day to day chores. Make it very clear to her that she cant seep like that while you slog every morning. And when you do that remember to hide away everything that is made of metal or even hard plastic…yes yes even your blackberry. Who knows when thrown by an enraged female a black berry can cause more damage than a .7 caliber bullet.

Jokes apart, this is a serious issue. I know we guys are inherently lazy and household chores are boring. But there is no way out. When your wife works all day in office like you, she deserves some rest at home. The best way to go about it is to divide responsibilities and make it very clear who is responsible for what work. You should take the initiative in this because that way you can take all the less tiresome work.

For your convenience allow me to present a list of household chores that can be done without considerable efforts. Be sure to grab them fast before your wife realizes…

Do the dishes

Though this sounds boring it actually is a very easy chore. Be sure to use a lot of cleaning agents, that way you won't have to scrub hard. While rinsing the dishes use a lot of water, keep the tap running at full speed. Chances are that when your wife spots this she might ban you from washing the dishes in order to save water.
(This works…..I swear)

Sweep the floor

Hold back your swear words, this is for your own good. But you have to master the trick. With broom in one hand keep an eye on your wife. The moment she turns away sweep everything under the bed, or carpet or sofa or anything that can hide the rubbish. Within minutes your house will be sparkling clean with absolutely minimum efforts. Don't worry nobody will know your secret, who in their right mind would look under the bed?

Wash the floor

Volunteer for this work like you really want to do it. Knowing your habit of wasting water the wife will not allow. Make a big fuss about it, put your foot down. Refuse to do any other work instead of it. (make sure to stay out of throwing range) If you are lucky then you will get away with no other work assigned to you.

The trump card

Whenever you are assigned with any household chore act very enthusiastic, but in the back of your mind think fast…there are a whole lot of excuses but make sure they sound genuine. The best thing is to invent an injury that hinders you from standing, walking, bending etc. But be careful, this can be counter productive. (I don't need to tell you why). So all my married friends out there with working spouses hope this article helps you in achieving the revered work-life balance and bring peace and happiness in your married life. (pardon me for using words like peace, happiness and married in the same sentence. I am just a novice writer you see).